Monday, March 26, 2018


A mirror on the wall and Ivan looks within its reflection. He hauls on his cigarette, looking intently at the reflection. Blowing out the blue haze he mutters to himself "Madness achieves greatness." the words spit out with intensity against the glass. "You know it to be true, because I AM great, and you..." he points. He trails off at the moment catching the tune of Radiohead's Karma Police from his phone.

His dances moves were awkward as if the man upstairs (God) was puppeteering while high. 

Listening to the tunes of this experimental rock genre he announces. "They think I'm a fool. I'll show them who is the fool!" Grabbing his phone, the song continues to play. It comes to the chorus and he smiles in irony and pitches it. His phone scatters the mirror and the glass fell to the floor. Ivan laughs as the reflection, obscured in the broken shards.

This continues for awhile till Ivan falls to his knees. His hand strokes his hair breaking into a sob, unaware that the glass was cut into the cloth and skin causing him to bleed. His hands cover his face to deny the reflection of tears.

"Fuck, I love her!” Ivan stated to himself

He became uncontrollable with his tears, as they pushed past his pride reflecting on his life's work ruined.

All because of a fucking gaseous anomaly, how relieving! Hahaha...

"I was careful" he paused "I ran the calculations three times, they should have worked?" The stream of salty bitterness touched his lips starring into the shards. "You sir are the idiot, forgetting basic arithmetic!" His hands clenched into fists, hammering to the bathroom floor. Glass met flesh into a bloody mess, but Ivan didn't care. "All you had to do was adjust the speed velocity of the thrusters. They would have easily carried the shuttle through the methane cloud."

All because of a fucking gaseous anomaly, all six of them died. They didn't see the blue flame coming. FUCK Amy! I'm sorry...

Ivan cried himself to sleep in glass and blood. The dreams in Ivan's mind normally fucked up on a good day as a "mad scientist" of NASA, but with weed mixed with a traumatic experience of his girlfriend dying in space topped it off. Farts in space will never be funny.

The morning came and so did the hangover. Throbbing of the muscles and veins and yet made him regret nothing, as he remembered his mistakes to Karma Police stilled playing. He grasped his temples his one hand like a vice to stop the throbbing as pushed up from the floor. "Fuck, Ouch!" Ivan yelled in pain as he forgot his sliced palms sliced up from his tussle of the madman last night. He looked at the murder that was his bathroom. Blood had accumulated all around the glass from the deep cut on his knuckles and palms, his stomach felt weak. As he managed to get to his feet he heard the piercing ring of his phone. He rushed to it and fumbled to answer and silence the ring.

"Yeah, What?!" Ivan snapped.

"Where are you?" The voice asked in excitement.

"John, where the fuck do you think I am?" Ivan snapped again. "Amy just died! So, give me a break!"

"Well, you need to get do here now!" John responded. "Something happened!"

Ivan hung up his phone and placed on the sink. He walked out to the kitchen to make copious amounts of coffee to settle his oncoming headache. One scoop, two scoops, three. He couldn't think with his phone ringing again in the other room. Fuck John!

After the third call back Ivan managed to storm into the bathroom in rage to give John a piece of his mind.

"JOHN! If you don't fuck off I'm going to kill..."

"Ivan this is Stephen." It was the voice of his boss.

"Oh, um sorry Steve I thought..." Ivan trailed off as Stephen interrupted him.

"I'm sorry to have to call you, but something happens last you need to know!"

It must be serious for both John and Stephen to call him even after Amy's death just happen yesterday, or it better be.

"Ivan last night we got a transmission or a part of a transmission. It was broken up and we're having a hard time understanding what it means, but..." Stephen paused. "We think the transmission is coming from the Expedition."

"Fuck Off!" Ivan blurted out "That's not funny at all!"

"No Ivan I'm serious. It's Amy and all we can get out of the transmission was..." he paused again. 

"One cannot simply turn a wrench and create life. There must be chocolate."                                 

Ivan gasped and was immediately in tears as it was Amy. Only Amy would have said something ridiculous like that.


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